Saturday, May 18, 2013
Grandma Sara's jewelry was too "good" for me at the time ~ meaning I wasn't into gold charms, diamonds, etc. in those days. So I gave the pieces to my mother to hold for me until I got older and could appreciate them.
One of those pieces was a diamond heart-shaped pendant of white gold. An outline of a heart with diamonds making up the outline. Definitely not my style at the time. My narcissistic mother had it made into a garish ring for herself. I remember seeing the ring on her finger sometime later that year or the next and feeling a tiny thud in my stomach. One didn't question my mother about things she did, but I might have said something, and if I did, she would have replied something like, "You didn't want it but I did." It hadn't been a gift to her. So much for safekeeping. I also never saw the other pieces again.
Over the years I forgot all about the pendant/ring. But it resurfaced recently, in a small cache of my mother's jewelry that my stepsister had taken from her and put aside at a time when most other valuables were slowly being stolen from my mother's room in the facility she lived in during the last ten years of her life. My sister sent a list of items to me, my brother and stepbrother prior to getting the jewelry appraised for sale, to see if any of us wanted any of it. You bet I did! I had no interest in anything else except the diamond heart, now a ring, that was originally gifted to me.
Early last week I received the ring in the mail from my stepsister, promptly took it to the local jeweler to have it returned to its status as a pendant, and am now wearing it around my neck.
It might be hard for you to believe, but this diamond heart and my Grandpa Benny's heavy gold watch chain are the only things I have from anyone in my family. They are my heirlooms. Two precious items from my favorite grandparents.
Grasping the heart in my hand, remembering seeing it around Grandma Sara's neck so many times long ago, gives me a special feeling in my heart that I'm not even sure what to call, because it's a new feeling to me. Sadness, joy, a sense of great loss, a sense of connection over time, a sense of my own aging and eventual passing out of this life.